If the insect world has taught me anything it’s that we need more massive badass tank females.
The femme fatale spider thing doesn’t even make sense as an analogy. It’s the MEN who ought to be dressing up all smutty and trying to seduce their way past danger via elaborate acrobatics.
From a lady’s perspective you’re just chilling and sometimes snacks show up.
The human equivalent of a black widow spider is massive, heavily armed, and has trouble telling the difference between targets and noncombatants.
Also she’d basically prefer to stay under a rock playing computer all day.
@cannibalcoalition would you job be easier or harder if more people posted this sort of thing?
That’s an itemized list of the things you want, so yes. But you could also literally just show us these photos and we’d make it for you. Though, that’s not waxflower- it’s a dyed baby’s breath. Waxflower has more pronounced petals.
But I should mention that if you are asking for something specific, you should be prepared for us to not have it on the spot. Waxflower has off-seasons and we may not have it on-hand some months. Spray roses are common to have some times of the year (prom and homecoming, height of wedding season) but not others. Expect that we might have to order the flowers.
The thing is that I think people are under the impression that ordering flowers is hard. It’s not. We’re happy to help you with anything you’d like and we will do our best to make sure you get what you want. You just have to give us something to go on.
Some things to have in mind when you want something but you’re not sure what
occasion- is this for an anniversary, for a funeral, a birth, or just need a pick-me-up?
who is it for? You, your boyfriend, your aunt, a co-worker having a bad day?
Budget
color- if this is for an occasion, is it matching someone’s dress or decor? What’s the recipient’s favorite color? Do you want a mix of colors?
favorite flowers or any flower names you can think of
If you have a photo of things you like, that’s extremely helpful.
Few things frustrate me more than someone coming in to look for flowers and not having answers to any of these questions. Just saying that his favorite color is pink goes a really long way.
In Chapter 10 of Pride and Prejudice, when out walking with Darcy, holding his arm, Caroline Bingley rudely abuses Elizabeth and her connections. Mrs Hurst, arriving with Elizabeth, takes Darcy’s free arm, therby effectively and rudely separating Elizabeth from the “In-Crowd’ as the path “will not admit a fourth”:
At that moment they were met from another walk by Mrs. Hurst and Elizabeth herself.
“I did not know that you intended to walk,” said Miss Bingley, in some confusion, lest they had been overheard.
“You used us abominably ill,” answered Mrs. Hurst, “running away without telling us that you were coming out.”
Then, taking the disengaged arm of Mr. Darcy, she left Elizabeth to walk by herself. The path just admitted three. Mr. Darcy felt their rudeness and immediately said, —
“This walk is not wide enough for our party. We had better go into the avenue.”
But Elizabeth, who had not the least inclination to remain with them, laughingly answered, —
“No, no; stay where you are. You are charmingly grouped, and appear to uncommon advantage. The picturesque would be spoilt by admitting a fourth. Good-bye.”
She then ran gaily off, rejoicing, as she rambled about, in the hope of being at home again in a day or two. Jane was already so much recovered as to intend leaving her room for a couple of hours that evening.
Here we have Jane Austen her allowing her heroine an opportunity for getting her revenge on the Bingley sisters for their continued rudeness to her. Elizabeth is quite clearly referring to a passage from Gilpin’s Observations on Cumberland and Westmorland. In Volume II Section XXXI he waxes lyrical on the picturesque qualities of the domesticated animals normally to be found in the English countryside; that is, horses, sheep and cows. This is what he has to say about the grouping of cows:
Cattle are so large that when they ornament a foreground, a few are sufficient. Two cows will hardly combine Three make a good group- either united- or when one is a little removed from the other two. If you increase the group beyond three; one of more in proportion must necessarily be a little detached. This detachment prevents heaviness and adds variety…
As you can see from his illustration of this group of cows, three is the magic number as far as he was concerned. A fourth has to be some distance off otherwise it spoils the picturesque.
By allowing Elizabeth to make this one little, seemingly innocent remark (and escape from Darcy and the Bingley sisters in the process) Jane Austen demonstrates that despite the efforts of Mrs Bennet to hinder her education, Elizabeth has, by the advantage of her extensive reading, more awareness of the principles of the picturesque than of the expensively educated ladies before her. As a man of taste and education Darcy is most probably aware of the source for her reference and cannot but be impressed by it. He also knew that she was referring to them as a group of three….cows.
Game set and match to Elizabeth Bennet walking swiftly in the opposite direction…
i hate so much when rich people claim they could live on minimum wage
you can’t. you absolutely fucking can’t.
it’s not just about how literally impossible it can be or how the rich are so accustomed to luxury they wouldn’t be able to stomach being poor – it’s about the fact that any experience rich people have had with poverty was temporary.
“to prove that $8/hr is humane i lived on minimum wage for a month – and it was fine. you just have to spend wisely and be frugal.”
i promise any rich person who’s done (if they even have) something like that was ACHING by the end of that month. that week. they were edging out the end of that month thinking “after this i can go back to my cozy $100k a year, i just have to get this month over with”
it’s livable, right? this guy proved it. one month and he’s sure – it’s totally doable! he ate gross food and kept his lights off and his AC off and scrounged up change for gas for a month and it wasn’t THAT bad!
but man…. imagine if that was your whole life.
i’m sure they felt a little stressed after realizing how tight the budget was at the end of that month… imagine that but for years. years and years with no end in sight. you never have the relief of going back to your $100k salary and flat screen TV. it’s years upon years of pent up stress and anxiety
what if your car breaks down? what if you miss your bus? what if you have an unexpected charge on your card and overdraft? what if the kids want pizza? what if you call out sick from work? what if you can’t afford christmas presents?
and on top of the stress, you’re poor and you don’t have much free time because you take all the hours you can get to make ends meet. instead of cooking you have to eat shitty banquet and michelinas meals because delivery and takeout are too expensive. and the more tired you get, the more exhausted, the more shitty food you consume just to try to keep going.
and you probably don’t have good healthcare!
you’re stressed, you’re eating poorly, your body hurts from all the work and you’re too poor to pay for medical help, things like car repair fall by the wayside in order to provide, you’re sad, you start drinking to cope, etc
this is the cycle poor people are fucking trapped in. this is why the minimum wage is a fucking failure to all impoverished people in america.
this is the toll “just being frugal” takes on poor people after living for decades like that. adddiction, mental illness, lawbreaking – these things are associated with low class and poor people because it’s what happens to us and what we resort to when the system fails us.
They should try a year rather than a month
they should just shut up about something they don’t understand.
the worst thing for me about being poor was knowing i had no backup plan. i had no spare resources, no emergency exit. this was it. if things get worse? too bad. if you break your leg? you lose your job, you’ll be dodging vicious debt collectors for god knows how long because you can’t afford the emergency room, and if they prescribe painkillers you don’t even bother taking the scrip to the pharmacy because the elderly aspirin you have in your bathroom is what you’ll be taking. and if you get a bone infection? you’re gonna die. you’re going to lie there all night, awake because your leg hurts, replaying your boss’s “well we can’t hold your job for you, we need to cover that shift, just reapply when you’re better” speech in your head, and knowing that if this bone doesn’t heal smoothly there’s absolutely NOTHING you can do about it.
people who grew up rich can’t possibly comprehend this on a temporary trip to poverty unless you actually take away everything they have, including their support system, and genuinely convince them that they can NOT have any help they can’t afford on what’s in their pocket right now, no matter what, not even if they’re dying. they have to know in their gut that if they’re dying they’re just gonna die, because they can’t buy help.
i’m ‘rich’ now – since when is “i’m not terrified about paying my bills” rich, btw? that should be the baseline, jfc – but i remember how it was. so yeah, i could live on minimum wage for a month, but i know enough to say, dear god, please don’t make me. please don’t send me back there. i was so lucky to escape.
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